Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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