i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
