I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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