just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
