trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
