im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
