U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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