Are we in a gay sports bar?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
