Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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