problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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