You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
