Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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