I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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