Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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