Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
operation have a gay friend backfired
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
