girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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