In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize