he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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