I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize