I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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