So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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