but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
