What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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