yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
