The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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