Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
