Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
