I wanna bring you to show and tell
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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