Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize