they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
