At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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