do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
