On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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