I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
