I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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