Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
