ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
