I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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