BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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