if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize