I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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