let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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