Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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