honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
