do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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