Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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