I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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