Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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