Where did you get a picture of my penis
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
