What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
