Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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