My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
