Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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