I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
