check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You smell like stripper and shame
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
