pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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