i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
